


Yearning for What is Now Dead

by sableRaven



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Charles Xavier is a Mess, Charles is not a good person in this, Charles misses Erik, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, M/M, Past Erik Lehnsherr/Charles Xavier, Pre-X-Men: Days of Future Past, Scott Summers Needs A Hug, Sexual Abuse, Sexual Coercion, mentioned past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:13:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399014
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sableRaven/pseuds/sableRaven
Summary: Charles relapses in his depression and rethinks the past. Scott is there to help with the pain, both willingly and unwillingly.
Relationships: Charles Xavier/Scott Summers, Past Charles Xavier/Erik Lehnsherr
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Yearning for What is Now Dead

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Very triggering material. If you are not comfortable with pedophilia, rape/non-con, or sexual coercion, do not read. I do not condone the actions happening within this fanfic. 
> 
> Story takes place before DOFP, during the time where Hank and Charles are alone in the X-Mansion. I included in Scott Summers, and yes, I will be torturing him in all of my fics.

Somehow his depression has gotten worse. Charles didn’t believe he could sink any further into depression than he already has. The drugs aren’t enough to pull him out of it. The drugs only provide a temporary relief of happiness, just a teeny amount. It’s enough for him to get out of bed for a shower and enough energy to make himself a snack, but he heads straight to bed afterwards.   
  
The emptiness of the mansion makes it worse. Before it was full of students, even after Erik and Raven had left, Charles still had the rest of the X-Men to accompany him. However, once the war in Vietnam escalated, one by one they left. First it was Alex. Then it was Sean’s turn, fresh into adulthood and already forced to kill. The other mutant students who joined, slowly moved out. Parents wanted their children with them in case another world war broke out. Hank stayed, of course he did, his most loyal friend since the beginning. Charles was fortunate that the military draft didn’t even touch Hank. He assumed due to Hank’s contribution with the Division X project, he didn’t have to serve. 

Dinners were too quiet for both to stand. There wasn’t much to discuss so eventually nightly dinners stopped. Charles figured Hank was going through his own, yet hidden, depression as the younger man likes locks himself in his lab for hours. He does thank Hank’s hours in the lab for the specialized serum that numbs his thoughts. Albeit it does suppresses his telepath at least he wasn’t confined to a wheelchair. Easier for him to at least get up and do something with his life. 

Then, something good happened: Scott, Alex’s baby brother. A child lost in the system when their parents died. Alex had written him a letter notifying that he had found Scott and needed Charles to take him in before anything bad happened. Yet the damage had already been done. Scott’s been through a lot and his body had suffered some physical abuse. Seeing Scott and knowing about his past motivated Charles to stop taking the serum. He actually had a purpose, to fix this boy and heal him from all the abuse he had suffered. Hank healed him physically while Charles healed him mentally. He taught Scott school subjects he had missed while in foster care. Charles handled the english, psychology, history, and included mutant genetics in his teaching. Hanks handled the sciences and mathematics. Scott absorbed each class lesson like a sponge. Scott was eager to learn more and would use the library to his advantage. Scott adored him and Charles was proud of Scott and his progress. Charles saw a bit of himself when he was younger in Scott, smart, eager to learn, and a scared little boy who couldn’t fully grasp the extent of his powers. 

Everything was fine, until Charles was reminded of someone. On the news, an attempt to escape, Erik Lehnsherr killed two guards in his attempt. Everything, the memories, the pain, the loneliness, latched onto Charles and drove him into a depression worse than any before. It’s been weeks since that news report and he returned to the serum to numb the mental pain of the bullet, the betrayal from his closest allies. Poor Scott, had no idea what was happening to his mentor. Everyday, Scott would check up on Charles, similar to Hank, except Charles only allowed Hank in. Hank would administer the serum. Besides, Charles was too disgusted with himself to let Scott see him in this filthy state of wallowing in his own guilt and suffering. Scott doesn’t need to see a pathetic grown man like this. Whenever the serum boosts his energy to move out his bed, he avoids crossing paths with Scott. He leaves at times he knows Scott is asleep or a different direction than Scott’s usual.

Tonight the serums helps him leave his bed. He eats the food Hank left him then heads to the shower. The hot water helps with the numbing. He can distract himself temporarily from the pain. He allows himself to feel the hot water drip down his legs and it’s a pleasant reminder that his legs are functioning, although with the sacrifice of his mutant powers. He scoffs. If Erik could see him now, he would be disappointed at Charles. How could he use a serum that practically cures his mutation? His telepathy isn’t a disease, it’s a wonderful gift. _‘Maybe if you had more control over your powers, I wouldn’t be in this fucking mess.’_

He shuts the water off.   
  
He heads back to his room and dresses himself in new pajamas. As he’s drying his hair, he notices he left the plate on his desk. He takes the plate to the kitchen, careful to not run into Scott. In the kitchen, he eyes the bottle of scotch and decides, fuck it, to take a swing of it and brings the rest to his room. Charles doesn’t notice the is door cracked open. Charles place the scotch on his dresser and closes the door. He turns around and sees Scott, sitting on his bed. 

Dread immediately grips his stomach. “Scott, how did you…”   
  
Scott smiles softly. He is in his pjs and his face is beaming with delight. He seems...happy to see him. “The door was unlocked. I…missed you.”

Those words tug at his heart. _‘Missed me?’_ He struggles to stop his smile. Charles moves closer to Scott, ignoring the scotch he was planning on wasting his night with.   
  
“You did?” Charles asks. He decides to sit next to Scott on his bed, leaving a significant gap between them.   
  
Scott nods, the smile not faltering from his face. “Hank doesn’t tell me much, but I know when someone’s depressed.” 

“Is it that obvious?” Charles chuckles lightly and glances over to Scott.   
  
“A little.”   
  
Scott moves closer. Charles doesn’t.   
  
“It sucks, doesn’t it?”  
  
“What?”  
  
“Depression. I…have a hard time doing things as well whenever I think about my parents…well you know,” Scott admits.   
  
Barely did Charles pester Scott on his parent’s death. Charles never did it with Alex either. He wants to wait for both to feel comfortable enough to tell him without any telepathic meddling on his end.   
  
“You’re right. It is not the best thing in the world, but it is a psychological state that can’t be ignored,” Charles says. “I apologize for not seeing you sooner. I was afraid it would make you uncomfortable.”  
  
The boy shakes his head. “You never made me feel uncomfortable.”

Charles laughs. “Really?” His eyes are on Scott and he notices that Scott is blushing. “You were never scared of your teachers when you were younger?”

“A little, but that’s because Alex would scare me about teachers punishing students and things.” Scott goes quiet and his head tilts downward. “I miss Alex.”

“I know.” 

They both go silent. Charles doesn’t says it, but he misses Alex, he misses the time when everyone was together, everything was peaceful and no one was working against the other, they were all united like family. Despite everything, he mainly misses Erik, his lover. He misses the inviting touches that knew when to be gentle with him and when to be rough. He misses the “I love yous” that sent his heart into a frenzy and secured his thoughts on their relationship. They could of built a lasting legacy together, a movement of progress where human-mutant relations were exceptional, but it was all shattered by a bullet. Painfully, Charles closes his eyes and releases a shaky sigh. He yearns for unconditional love and adoring touches to fix him, to heal the wounds of the past. 

“X-Xavier?” Scott speaks up.

Charles slowly opens his eyes and glances over to Scott. “Yes?” 

“Are you okay?” 

Concern is written on Scott’s face. It warms Charles’ heart up. It’s different seeing from someone other than Hank be concerned about him. 

Charles lets out another sigh. “Sorry, I…lost myself there for a second.” He forces out a chuckle.   
  
“Do you want to lay on my lap?”

“Excuse me?”

“You can rest your head on my lap if you want. My mom used to hum this song and played with my hair to make me feel better.” Scott pats his lap and offers Charles a friendly yet inviting smile.   
  
Charles stares at Scott’s thighs. Internally, he feels strange at the request, but decided to rest his head anyways. He didn’t expect the boy’s lap to be...comforting. Scott’s body type was a bit on the bony side and Charles thought it would not be comfortable as it currently is. 

Scott’s fingers trail through Charles’ hair. When it got caught in a knot, he pulls back and stroke through the strands of hair. The boy repeats the movement in the same pace, his nails lightly brushes over Charles’ scalp. Scott is...warm. The body heat radiating off of the young boy comforts Charles. The warmth of another human’s body was embracing him in his time of need. It’s a cold absence that he misses. No Erik to provide that warmth, but Scott is right here, stroking his hair in an oddly affectionate manner. The light strokes are sending him mixed signals in his brain and something ungodly in his groin.

“Scott.”

“Yes, Xavier?”  
  
What he was feeling is wrong, extremely wrong, outright disgusting, but the desire in him was strong, too strong for him to suppress it. 

Charles let out a shaky breath and asks, “How much do you love me?”

The strokes stop. Scott’s eyebrows furrows and he says nothing at first. Then he answers, “I…I love you a lot.” 

Charles tightens his jaw. Those words, so oddly satisfying to hear. Was he that starved for such words that he needed it to be heard from his student?   
  
He turns his head to look up at Scott. The boy’s forehead crinkles with confusion. He could tell Scott is staring at him. If only he could hear what Scott was thinking. His eyes lingers on Scott’s lips. _‘Soft’_ crosses his mind. He drags his finger across the boy’s lips. The boy’s lips slightly quivers at the touch.   
  
“Xavier?”

Charles’ eyes are still staring at Scott’s lips. Soft, a bit plump, he wonders how the boy would taste if he- He closed his eyes and mentally scolds himself, _‘No. He’s only 14, but...’_ He reopens his eyes, the first sight he sees is the boy’s lips once again. It was like a siren call, begging to be taken by his own lips. Scott’s lips quivers slightly once more against his finger.   
  
The boy sucks in a breath. “Xav-“

In a swift movement, Charles captures the young boy’s lips, his hand cupped on the back of Scott’s head to keep him in place. Soft. Just as he expected. Soft, no taste. He doesn’t have any expectations that a teenage boy would wear any type of chapstick, but Charles allows himself to fantasize. Erik crosses his mind. It’s been years since the beach incident, years since he last saw Erik, his former lover turned enemy. Kissing Erik was a mind-numbing experience. Fireworks would fly and Charles would be lost in the kiss that the next thing he knew they were taking their clothes off.   
  
Oh how much he misses Erik. The empty side of the bed he wakes up to in the morning is a constant reminder of what he doesn’t have, but here’s Scott, a good stand-in for what he’s lost.   
  
Unlike his kisses with Erik, this is a one sided kiss; Charles doing the kissing as Scott sits there and endures it. The boy doesn’t attempt to move nor to kiss him back. He prefers it like that, no resistance, just compliance.   
Charles pulls away, licking his lips, reminiscing on the kiss. His eyes are on Scott, who sits there still, but he sees conflict written on the younger one’s face.   
  
“First kiss?”

Scott nods slowly. “Yes.” 

Charles smiles softly. “Perfect.” 

His hands find themselves gripping the bottom of Scott’s shirt. He is still met with no resistance as he peels the boy’s shirt off of him. The shirt falls to the ground and Charles moves to remove Scott’s pants as well. There’s visible discomfort on Scott’s face, but the boy makes no effort to stop Charles. The boy lifts his legs to help Charles get his pants off of him faster. Charles stops for a moment to stare. He stares at Scott’s pale, lanky body. No defining muscles, only light hairs on his chest and some on his navel that travels down to his...

As Charles reaches for Scott’s underwear, Scott grabs his wrist. Charles raises his head and feigns confusion. “Scott?”

“I-“ Scott stops. He looks down, Charles assumes his looking at his hand. 

“Have you ever done this before?” Charles asks. 

Scott shakes his head, his face turning red.

“N-No.” 

“Hm.” Charles starts to pull it down. 

“Wait-“

“Don’t worry, it won’t be painful, I promise.” 

It was enough for Scott to relax a bit. Charles completely removes the underwear. He pushes Scott’s shoulder down so the boy is lying on his back. Scott awkwardly spreads open his legs and Charles positions himself in between them. The boy’s legs are just as long and boney as the rest of him. Charles could already feel his own cock grow hard. He takes off his own shirt and makes a move at his pants. His boxers are the last to go and his cock is only half hard. 

He feels his heart hammering against his chest. Is he really going through with this? 

He licks his lips. “Scott.”

“Y-Yes?” 

“Can you stand up a bit and use your mouth?” 

“I-I don’t, don’t know how-“

“I can guide you.” 

Scott’s mouth gape open then he quickly closes it. He shuffles himself upwards to get a better angle to start sucking Charles off. Charles moves his own body to help Scott. The boy’s fingers wraps itself around his cock and Charles can’t help, but moan. _‘Soft’_ everything about Scott’s skin is soft and Charles can just melt in the softness and warmth of Scott’s body. 

Charles notices Scott staring. The boy’s lips are parted and is slightly quivering as his face moves closer to the tip. 

“Professor...I...”

“It’s okay. I know you can do it, just put your mouth on it, okay?”

Slowly nodding, Scott opens his mouth and brings Charles’ cock into his mouth. The tip passes through his lips and Charles nearly cries out from the much needed pleasure. It’s been so long since he gotten this intimate. He feels like a teenage boy who just had sex for the first time, a bit too excited than he should be in the beginning. Charles drags his finger through Scott’s hair and lightly grips the back of his head. 

He lets Scott control the pace. Scott pushes his head forward, taking in more of Charles’ cock, a lot more than Charles expected. 

“Don’t take too much in,” Charles warns. “You’ll start coughing.”

Scott somewhat nods and moves his head backwards. Slow bobs, Scott is mindful enough to not screw up. Charles could tell by the lift of Scott’s eyebrows that the boy is staring up at him. If only he could see Scott’s eyes, those curious eyes staring at him, wondering if he doing good for Charles. 

“Relax your jaw,” Charles reminds softly through moans. Scott goes a bit deeper and Charles is memorized by the boy’s boldness. He starts to pumps his hips, hand steady on Scott’s head and he feels the pleasure building up. He would love to just come right now, right in the boy’s mouth and watch Scott try to swallow his come. Or watch as come roll down his chin as he struggles to do so. 

Charles gasps. “Enough!” 

He yanks Scott’s head back. An audible wet _‘pop’_ could be heard and the boy’s mouth is left wide open. _‘Fuck.’_ He couldn’t believe how red and swollen Scott’s lips are. 

“Scott,” he breaths. He clears his throat, trying to get a handle of himself. “I need you to prepare yourself for wants coming up next okay?”

“Y-Yes, Xavier...” 

He pushes Scott down to his back. He gets in between his legs and his cock is practically begging to go in. Charles reaches into his dresser to find the lube he usually hides under the clothes. He makes quick work of lubing the boy up, fingering deep until he is satisfied. As if he couldn’t be anymore hard, his cock is leaking pre-cum and swollen red at the top. He begins to line his cock to Scott’s hole. It’s a tight fit, it makes sense, Scott is a virgin.   
  
He pushes in. 

Tight, definitely tight. He groans at how tight the boy is. He pushes in further, 

“Xavier, it hurts,” Scott whines. 

“The pain will subside, just stay calm.” 

“But-“

“Scott,” he warns sternly. 

With that Scott shut his lips up. He avoids Charles’ gaze and bites his lips in anticipation. Charles keeps pushing and he could feel Scott tense up. He takes it slow, he can’t afford too much of a mess. He pauses as his balls meets Scott’s ass. He allows Scott a moment to get used to it. Just a small moment before Charles’ hands moves to grip Scott’s boney hips. The way Scott internally clenches, which elicits a moan from Charles, driving the already exhilarating desire to ram into the boy.   
He hears Scott’s whining and he hushes the boy. He soothes Scott by caressing his cheeks with his thumb. 

“Xav…”

Charles presses his lips against Scott’s to quiet his worries. He grabs Scott’s hips harder, definitely leaving a mark once this is over. He starts to piston his hips, moving at a pace that was fast enough to satisfy his needs. Deep, long strokes, just how he likes it and just how Erik used to do it. The boy’s back arches, groaning and attempting to slither away from his mentor’s length. Charles forces him back down, pressing his hand down on Scott’s stomach. Scott gasps out a sound mixed of pleasure and distress. 

“Xavier, you’re- it hurts.” 

Charles continues his pace, one hand on Scott’s belly, the other firmly on the side of the boy’s hips. He doesn’t want Scott to ruin his fun. It’s been so long since he felt like this, lust swirling around his stomach, the carinal and feverish eager to pound someone warm. Years has gone by since he last fling with Erik, since he last had sex, since he felt oddly alive. Scott’s body rocks from each thrust, mouth opening and closing as murmured moans threatens to escape his lips. His face is flushed, cheeks a crimson red, lips slightly tinted red from the previous penetration.   
  
_‘Beautiful’_ is all Charles can think. The sounds that leaves Scott are even more so beautiful. Scott is shy. The boy goes from a sharp cry to a suppressed groan as if he’s afraid someone will hear. Charles knows Hank is somewhere in his lab, tinkering away, ignorant to the affair happening between Charles and Scott. 

“Stop!” Scott squeaks out, face scrunching up in pain. 

Charles is too absorbed in the pleasure of it all to listen to Scott. His hips keep on pumping, maintaining a consistent rhythm: deep, slow, deep, fast, faster, short then deep, rinse and repeat. The pace is building up pleasure, rising from his groin to his chest. He’s enjoying this, it’s been far too long since this has been kept from him. Mentally, he curses at Erik, but silently thanks him for an alternative that satisfies his needs. A softer, more accessible, younger alternative compared to the hard exterior of his former lover. 

“St...stop, pl...lease.” 

Charles slides his hands under Scott’s thigh, right above the back of his knee. He lifts Scott’s legs upwards, fucking Scott in a different angle that causes him to scream. He notices Scott twisting the sheets under his fingers as Scott’s body trembles violently and his moans turns into cries.   
  
“It hurts!” Scott cries out. 

“ _Scott_!” Charles snaps. He squeezes Scott’s thighs, balls deep in the boy and doesn’t move.

Scott struggles, his pelvis swaying side to side, upper body twisting and turning in an ill attempt to break from Charles’ embrace. 

“Please.” Charles can hear the choked sob in

Scott’s voice. “I...I can’t-“

This time Charles whispers, “Scott.” He swallows down a moan. He feels himself getting close to the edge. Licking his lips, he asks, “You said you loved me, right?”

Scott nods, whimpering. 

“I need you to be quiet, okay? For the both of us.”

Scott doesn’t say any words, only mumbles something incoherent. Charles assumes that their current position is responsible. Scott is still trembling. Charles wonders if Scott, too, is getting close. He eyes Scott’s cock, hard, not painfully, but its lays on Scott’s stomach, glistening with pre-come. 

“First orgasm?” Charles quips. 

“I don’t- I don’t, Professor...?” 

Charles closes the gap between them, hands now cupping both sides of the other’s face. He uses his thumbs to wipe away the tears that stalled on Scott’s cheeks. His face feels on fire, loud pants as they stare at each other. Intimate, just how Charles and Erik used to be. Blue staring at blue, he misses the mix of love and lust that dazzled in Erik’s eyes whenever they made love. 

_‘Erik…’_

Charles probably will never see Scott’s eyes, but…

“Scott…what color are your eyes?”  
  
Scott gasps. “Bl…bl…blue.” He starts to sob. “St…op…pl-“ 

Charles rolls his hips, interrupting a sobbing fit from Scott. He fantasies Scott’s eyes, what expression they might have under those red glasses. Adoration? Excitement? Lust? Love? Charles leans down to kiss Scott. Scott’s cries buzzes off of his lips as Charles begins pumping his hips. He increases his speed, skin slapping skin, fucking them both to orgasm. He feels Scott’s hands over his own, Scott’s fingers wiggling itself under Charles’ palm. A guttural groan rips from Charles’ chest and forces him to break their kiss. Scott is gasping, panting, but fortunately stopped sobbing. Scott’s mouth attempts to form a sentence, only broken words can be heard. His fingers wiggles itself deeper and tries to pry Charles’ hands off of him. Charles’ thrusts starts to get sloppy. His cock nearly slips out of Scott a couple of times and he’s close, so close that he keeps going, hard and deep to get both of them over the edge.   
Charles hears Scott cry out and the younger one’s hands slides off of his. _‘Close…so close, almost…’_

Slamming into Scott one, two, three mores time before he comes, his body rocking from the waves of pleasure. His cock slips out of Scott and he’s gasping from the overwhelming pleasure. Charles closes his eyes and allows himself to relish in the afterglow.   
  
Softly, in the background, Scott is panting. He hears the boy swallowing loudly. 

“Xa…Xavier...?”

His eyes open. “Yes, Scott?”

“Did…did I…I do good?”

“You were perfect.” 


End file.
